A Love for All Time Page 6

  “Okay. I can understand that. What do you want to do? There are other facets to the cosmetic industry besides demonstrating.”

  “I want nothing more to do with the cosmetic industry,” Casey said flatly.

  “But . . . look what you’re throwing away! All that know-how, all that experience!”

  “You can’t throw away experience. I’m just walking out on it. I may use it again someday, but not now. Definitely not now.”

  Judy emptied her glass and unfolded her legs from the couch. “Need another?”

  “Sure. Why not? I may sit here and get soused.”

  “That’ll be the day.”

  Casey closed her eyes while Judy prepared the drinks. The sudden decision to leave the hospital, the argument with Dr. Masters, who reminded her time and again that Dan Murdock wanted her to stay until he returned, the packing, the call to Judy, and the ride home, had tired her more than she expected.

  Casey opened her eyes to see Judy standing in front of her with a glass in her hand.

  “I had to get out from under the influence of that man or I’d be jumping through a hoop before long,” She blurted out.

  “You’re talking about Dan Murdock, I presume. I’d jump through his hoop any day!” Judy curled up on the couch again and looked steadily at her friend.

  Why did I open that can of worms, Casey wondered. It must be the drink. Aloud she said, “Who else?”

  “Why don’t you like him? I thought he was Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds rolled into one.”

  “He isn’t my type. I don’t like domineering men.”

  “That’s nuts! If I ever find a man who’ll wrap me in silk, tuck me into his limousine, and carry me away, he can be just as domineering as he wants to be.”

  Casey laughed. “You’ve had plenty of that type. How about the Greek who delayed his trip to New York to camp out on your doorstep?”

  “He was fat! He could have tucked me under his number two chin.” Judy grimaced and Casey laughed again. “This guy’s gone on you, Casey,” she said seriously. “He asked me a million questions.”

  “And I suppose you spilled all.”

  “My dear, if he’d been a Russian spy I’d have told him how to make the hydrogen bomb.”

  “Fine friend you turn out to be.”

  “Don’t blame me. Blame that six foot four hunk of masculinity. Why don’t I get someone like him on one of my flights?” There was infinite longing in her voice. “I know his family’s in the lumber business, but I don’t think that’s what gave him that . . . that rugged look. Of course, a tree could have fallen on him and pushed his nose to the side, but when I saw the picture in the sports magazine it all made sense.” Her bright eyes darted to Casey. “Well, anyway . . . that’s that. The mystery is solved. I suppose he told you all about it. Why didn’t you say something?” Judy tried to look innocent.

  “Would you condescend to tell me what you’re talking about?” Casey asked with mock dignity. She knew her friend was teasing, dying to drop her bomb of information. That was one thing Casey loved about their relationship, the light-hearted way they discussed things that were important.

  “Well ... I knew you’d mention it if he’d told you, though I’m surprised he didn’t. So, when I turned the page and saw his picture and the headline: CANADA SALUTES ITS FAVORITE RUGBY PLAYER, I almost jumped up and shouted to everyone in the plane—Hey, I’ve met him and he’s gorgeous!”

  “Rugby, eh?” Casey said calmly. “I thought you were going to say a senator or something.”

  “Senator? Who would get excited over a stuffy old senator?”

  “A governor that wants to be one.”

  “Well, aren’t you surprised?” Judy looked disappointed.

  “Not really,” Casey said slowly. No, Sir Lancelot would be right at home on the field of battle, be it a rugby field or a jousting tournament.

  “I wonder why he didn’t tell you? Or me? We had a long, delicious visit while we packed your things.”

  “I just bet you did,” Casey said. “By the way, will you drive me around tomorrow to look for a good used car? Mine’s totaled and the insurance company sent a check, but it’s not enough to buy a new one.”

  “Sure. Maybe we can find one a little old lady used to drive to church on Sunday.”

  Judy finished her drink and set the glass on the coffee table. “By the way, I’ve got a special date tomorrow night,” she said, her brown eyes alive with excitement. “He’s terribly handsome-tall, black hair, mustache, and beautiful blue eyes. He was transferred here from Jacksonville and has the sexiest Southern accent. I’ll bring him over for a drink before we go.”

  “I hope you’ve checked this one out. He isn’t married, is he?”

  “Yes, mother, I’ve checked him out.” Lids drooped over brown eyes demurely. “And, no, he isn’t married. I met him through another flight attendant whose boyfriend works for the same company. Besides, he doesn’t wear a ring,” she added in a droll voice.

  “Oh, that’s a sure sign,” Casey said sarcastically, before relenting and letting the obviously excited Judy off the hook. “Do you know anyone who’d want to rent my apartment for a few months?”

  “What? You want to sublet? What are you going to do, for Pete’s sake?”

  “I don’t know, but whatever it is, it won’t be in Portland. I’m thinking of going to Salem or Corvallis. Either one of those places would be close enough for me to drive back to see the doctor. I can’t afford to pay rent on this place and another one, too. Yet, 111 need it later on. The simplest solution would be to sublet for six months.”

  “When do you want to leave?”

  “As soon as possible. Saturday, if I can find a car.”

  “You won’t feel like driving any distance by Saturday,” Judy protested. “You’re weak as a kitten. What’s the big rush to get out of town?”

  “I don’t want to see anyone. Not Linda, or any of the people I worked with. I especially don’t want to see any of that group I went to the beach with this summer. I don’t think I could take their sly glances or patronizing attitudes. I just want to be by myself for awhile.”

  Judy looked sobered. “Okay, okay. Dammit, I think I know how you feel. But let me drive you to wherever you want to go, help you find a room or an apartment, and get you settled in. Then I can take a bus or fly back. You don’t have to go right out and find a job, do you? Can’t you take a few weeks to get yourself together?”

  “I could if I didn’t have to worry about this place.”

  “Leave that to me. Maybe I can rent it to Glen. Ah . . .” She rubbed her hands together and licked her lips. “Wouldn’t that be cozy?”

  “Glen, the heartthrob from Jacksonville?” Casey knew her friend had seen the quick spurt of tears that filled her eyes, and, knowing sympathy wasn’t what she needed, had ignored them.

  “No less,” Judy said perkily. “Isn’t that good thinking on my part?”

  “Excellent, if you can swing it.”

  “I’ll give it my best girl scout try.” She stood, pulled up her T-shirt and zipped up the fly on her faded jeans. She grinned sheepishly. “It’s more comfortable to let it all hang out. Every time I put these things in the dryer they shrink.”

  “Yeah? Those jeans are at least five years old. C’mon, admit all those late night snacks are getting to you.”

  “I’m saving my money for the ‘fat farm.’ That would be the height of luxury—eat all you want and go to a luxurious place where they pamper you and massage off those extra pounds.”

  “How much do you have to lose? Five pounds? Let’s see . . . that would be about five hundred dollars a pound. Pretty expensive for a flight attendant.”

  “Oh, hush. You’re too practical for your own good. I’m going to scoot so you can get some rest. We have a big day tomorrow. I put some of that health food you like in the fridge in case you want a snack.” At the door she turned. “I’ve missed you.”

  “I’ve missed you, too. Thanks
for everything.” Casey’s voice was husky with feeling.

  Judy always avoided showing any serious emotion if she could possibly help it. “Ah . . . t’was nothing.” She waved her hand carelessly. “I rescue damsels in distress every day. Bye. See you in the morning.”

  She could have talked all day without saying that, Casey thought bitterly. Damsels in distress. Three weeks ago the words would have meant nothing. Now, they brought the rugged features of Dan Murdock flashing before her eyes. From now on would everything having to do with knights, kings, and castles make her think of Dan?

  After Dan left for Japan it had taken Casey two days to get her thoughts in order and face the fact that any relationship with him was out of the question. She didn’t want to be attracted to him and despised that strange tiny butterfly that soared happily through her when he kissed her. There was no way he could possibly be attracted to her in her present condition and whatever game he was playing she wanted no part of it. He was probably the martyr type and had convinced himself that he was responsible for the accident and was determined to atone. Nothing could persuade her to house-sit for his mother! House-sit! Another salve for his conscience!

  In the quiet of her apartment, Casey squeezed her eyes shut and deliberately brought into her mind the image of her reflection in the mirror that first morning when she viewed her naked body. The breast that had been badly cut by the flying glass was two-thirds the size of the other. A patchwork of puckered scars ranging in color from deep red to dark purple was spread across her stomach, thighs, shoulders, and upper arms. She had held her hair back from her face and absorbed the entire picture of the deep, ugly wound across her forehead to her cheek, ear, and down the length of her body.

  For the tiniest moment Casey imagined she was seeing a body that wasn’t her own, then she whimpered softly, grieving for the sleek, slim, flawless body of a month ago. She hadn’t appreciated it, taking the satin smooth flesh of her face, shoulders, and arms for granted. Her wardrobe was full of low necked, sleeveless dresses and blouses that she would never wear again. The sight of her naked body had shocked her into realizing she would not, could not, have a physical relationship with any man. The thought of a man viewing her naked body brought the bile to her throat even now, days after the thought had first occurred to her.

  The ringing of the phone jarred her from her painful reflections.

  “Casey, this is Linda. I called the hospital and they said you were home. I was going to dash up to see you this evening and bring you up to date on the company news. I also want to hear all about your new man. Holy Moses! Where did you find him? I hear he’s not only in the chips, no pun intended, but he’s a well-known Canadian rugby player.”

  “You heard right. Say, did Bobby get settled in at his new school?”

  “Yes, my one and only offspring is now a military cadet and this house is like a tomb. I thought I might come by this evening if you feel up to having someone around.”

  “Thanks for thinking about me, Linda, but . . . I... I believe my father will be around and, besides, I feel like I’ve been run over by a steamroller. Can we make it another time?”

  “Sure. I want you to know, though, that the rest of the girls and I feel you were given the shaft by our esteemed boss. I’m terribly sorry, Casey. If jobs weren’t so hard to find, I’d tell that puffed up pip-squeak where to put mine.”

  “Thanks. It’s probably for the best. It’ll force me to get out and try something new. I feel as though I’ve had blinders on and seen nothing but my job for the past few years.”

  “Well, like Dan said you would have quit anyway when you were married. This will give you time to prepare for the big event. When is it by the way?”

  “Ah ... we haven’t decided. Thanks for calling, Linda. Maybe we can get together soon. Bye.”

  Irritation at Dan for continuing the ruse that they were going to be married edged out Casey’s depression.

  “When did you decide you wanted to come down to Newport?” Judy pressed her foot to the accelerator and the car picked up speed to pass a long truck hauling logs.

  “I don’t know. Newport is quaint and lovely. I can afford to spend two or three weeks before I start looking for a job and I thought I’d enjoy the solitude. The tourist season is almost over and I should be able to find a place that’s quite reasonable.”

  Casey felt better now that she was actually on her way. The back seat of the car was loaded with clothes, books, her small TV set, and an assortment of linens she thought she might need if she rented a small housekeeping apartment. The windows of the car were open and Judy’s short hair flew in all directions. Casey wore a three-cornered scarf tied tightly at the nape of her neck. It kept her hair pressed to her forehead and covered her ears.

  “Look at the size of those cherries,” Judy exclaimed. “I want some before I leave, even if they’re freighted up from California.”

  The sign said: “Cherries, Gas, Cottage for rent.” Judy turned into the driveway and half an hour later the “for rent” sign was taken down. The gas station and fruit market were run by a retired couple from Salem. Four cabins were set among the trees and Casey rented the one on the end. It was a one-room efficiency and bath, rustic, but comfortable and only a couple of blocks from the beach.

  “I wish I was staying a week,” Judy said after they unloaded the car. “However, it could be that on the bus ride back to Portland 1’ll meet a handsome stranger with wide shoulders, a narrow waist, and bulging thighs.”

  “Don’t count on it.”

  “I won’t. He saw you first.”

  “I told you I don’t want to hear one more word about Dan Murdock!”

  Judy stayed until Monday morning and they drove into Newport where she took a bus to Corvallis. After shopping at the supermarket, Casey drove back to the cabin and parked the car in the carport. By the time she unloaded her groceries and put them away she was exhausted. She was thankful that she could lie down on the bed and take a nap if she wanted to and there would be no one to bother her.

  Tuesday and Wednesday slipped by. Casey lounged in the sun in front of the cabin, went for short walks on the beach, and read three paperback novels. She made occasional trips to the stand for a newspaper or a bag of fruit and carefully avoided going beyond the “Hello, how are you?” stage with the owners and the other’ occupants of the resort. She had seen the cashier looking at her hands when she paid for her purchases and had almost expected her to murmur, “Oh, you poor thing,” or something equally as pitying. She wasn’t strong enough to face that yet, so she beat a hasty retreat to her cabin.

  Wednesday had been her worst day. Try as she might, she couldn’t get the thought out of her mind that this was the day Dan returned from Japan. After he left she had convinced herself his leaving had been a good way for him to break off the visits to the hospital. He had already signed the necessary papers to take care of the doctor and hospital costs. She had to admit it was considerate of him to pay without a hassle between her insurance company and his. He had told her that it was a cut and dried case, and his company would pay.

  Sometime during the day, she decided that Dan was a consummate actor, if there ever was one. He had seemed so sincere, so gentle. She could have easily fallen in love with him if she had been exposed to his charm much longer. Ha! She snorted in self-disgust for even thinking about him. He could be another Eddie Farrow, for all she knew, with a wife and six kids waiting at home.

  By the end of the week Casey was walking into town and back without exhausting her strength. She found a health food store and bought a mixture of nut meats, raisins, and whole grains to munch on. No one paid much attention to the slim girl in the soft, faded jeans and baggy sweat shirt, with the scarf tied over her hair and a floppy hat tilted over her eyes. The weather was still warm during the day. It was past the first of September and school had started, so the tourists came now only on the weekends.

  With calm precision Casey carefully made plans for what she was go
ing to do with her life. In a few weeks she would go to Salem or Corvallis and scan the want ads for work. She didn’t particularly care what it was, just something to support her while she waited for the series of operations that would take the scar from her face and replace the missing portion of her ear lobe.

  When not working, she decided, she would use her spare time to sew clothes to sell in a shop she planned to open in one of the small coastal resort towns. Handmade garments sold for premium prices and she was an excellent seamstress. She had made her own clothes, even her jeans with her own label, for years. She liked clothes and knew she had a knack for adding special touches that made them unique. Casey spent hours each day going through fashion magazines, making notes and sketches. Now that she had a goal, the world looked brighter, and she was positive in time she wouldn’t even remember dark gray eyes, a square jaw, and a nose that leaned slightly to one side.